Chapter 3
The singles cruise is in 44 days.
Beth has been busy working and trying to chat on the dating website. She had looked at numerous profiles & clicked like on a few. She felt that is what you do. She even texted hello to a few. She started chatting with a couple. 1 We will call the cuddler. The cuddler wanted to meet up at a local water park & really wanted to text everyday.
She was okay with texting each day as they were trying to get to know one another. She had to question him on cuddling because she has said friendship first & needing to go slow. He said oh yes I understand. He begged her not to ghost him. He sounded sweet, however, he kept saying stuff about I should be there to cuddle you.
The next day she said, I just don’t know that we’re gonna work out because you keep talking a lot about cuddling and I’m just not ready for that. I thought you know we would take a date to go on a walk get something to eat, nothing to do with cuddling? I mean I’m just getting to know you and I’m a slow mover.
He texted back. Yeah I don’t think we’re going to work. I really need someone to cuddle, I guess I’m just not gonna find that person and I’m just going to quit dating app. Well, I’m not trying to ghost you but yeah, I get the feeling that we’re looking for different things. It’s good to know what you’re looking for and I wish you the best.
Then Ken messaged & wanted to talk on phone. The app showed that they had a lot in common swimming, beach, and hiking. They talked about that on a phone call. They texted for a couple of hours. He said he was okay with going slow & tbat he understood her when she said friendship first. They checked their calendars to plan a walk & decided Wednesday would work. Then his text started becoming about bet you look good, I like your pictures, what cha wearing and then he goes, “I’m well endowed & that I have to admit I like sex.”
She texted back, “I’m just in regular pjs, this is fast & I’m looking for more than just bedroom stuff.” He stopped replying. Just like that he ghosted her, disappeared from the app. Beth was like there goes another one who says one thing but then their actions speak louder. They can’t even control themselves for 1 day, the truth comes out. He was looking for a hook up. His loss. Another one bites the dust.
It had been 7 days since her ex husband messaged her.
She hadn’t responded to days of his text because he was messaging that he deserved a second chance, even if he can’t go on trip. She had texted that it was just another example that they have different interests & likes in life. Thus, nothing new to text, say. She decided it was best to text nothing new at all.
She was previewing day excursions to pick from on the cruise. She knew she wanted to do the scuba diving excursion day on the cruise. She was preparing for a scuba dive locally with her dive buddy friend in 13 days. She was getting excited and nervous, but it’s like riding a bike the scuba diving. She just needed to get back to a dive.
Why was dating not so easy?
I’m too nice for this! Beth thinks as she clicks X on a few guys who sent her a like. She reads or sees a red flag. God, how many weeks, months does one do this dating stuff ? I’ve been waiting? Why is this my journey? Business like, she kept saying just keep it business like & right now your getting a bad business deal.
Chapter 4
31 days until Cruise
Taking the advice of friends. Beth bought motion sickness medicine to pack. She’s looking for a bracelet you wear to help too. Not sure if she’ll get sea sick but better to prepare. Her cousin found her some bathing suits on sale. Thus, she’s trying things on & planning the outfits.
This past week, Beth’s ex husband’s fiancé messaged her. She must of read something on his phone or he said something. She wanted to know “is it true, that he asked you to give him a second chance?”
Beth replied, “I do not talk to him often, I try to keep it about or kid, but yes usually he tells me he has changed & wants me back. I really don’t know you but I’m not gonna hide anything from you. I’m sorry. That is all I can say.”
She replied, “That you are right to think he hasn’t changed. You are such an amazing mom.” Then she vented some stuff about how she’s feeling about him. It’s not necessary to repeat that, just know that Beth responded & told her that she needs to decide what to do for herself.
Being single is not easy but you deserve to be with someone who you want to be with. Someone who brings joy, enjoys doing things with you & supports you for who you are.
Beth had to give her son some similar advice, as he had a relationship end this past week. Not that she is a relationship expert. She’s still navigating this dating app… scroll, read, click no or like. Sometimes she sends a “Hi” as the app suggests to do to stand out. Stand out ? as a possible suitor? as a candidate? What am I doing? this is what Beth thinks. This is me putting myself out there.
Omg, what am I doing? So many guys & faces. All looking for a match. She explains to her son that maybe one day he’ll try this online dating. He laughs this off.
Beth had 3 job interviews in the last couple of weeks too. Got 1 offer but had to take an exam. Spent the week studying & worrying about her son, who decided to take a solo road trip, yes all alone. She had to ask friends for prayers. Her Aunt sent her a prayer to pray to Saint Joseph Cupertino …
“Pray for the exam that I am preparing for… that the questions I get are ones of my expertise…”
Lots of studying & prayers, Beth passed the exam.
The cruise has all these excursion options. A few are suggested for the single’s group. She’s got to make a list, she knows she plans to scuba dive. Then take a couple with the group, so many choices but she has been advised not to book 1 for every day either, wait to see how you feel that day. She can't believe she is planning her 1st cruise and it is by herself.
Beth’s ex husband saw her social media request for prayers for unspoken stuff. Yeah, in her attempts to be a writer her profile is public so her ex & his fiancé follower her. It’s okay, she strives to be a light & not shut people out. Thus, he began messaging what's wrong. Beth replied, “you can message our child for details. I’m not dying & he’s not dying. Just asked for prayers for unspoken stuff.” He still hasn’t figured out how to be a parent or how to be an ex.
Beth is waiting to start new job hiring paperwork, which is delayed due to the July 4th holiday. She sees some new jobs and applies to those, she has been applying weekly for a year now, so why stop now and she has not signed a contract yet. Due to the July 4th holiday, she enjoyed watching fireworks with friends and family. She is planning a local scuba dive this weekend, going with her instrutor and another lady. She needs to practice her skills before the cruise.
She talked and cried, yes some tears have flowed, but only to her best friends about how crazy & stressful this past week has been. Most importantly, she breathes & tries to make the best of each day.
Her son returned home after traveling 1,000 miles away. That is another story for another day. Thank God he made it back safe and sound. You know her momma heart was worrying.
