Better as a Memory? Chapter 2

​Chapter 2 

Saturday morning.

She wakes & looks at her phone…

has a text message from the guy she was dating,  one from her ex-husband & her best friend. 

The guy she was dating, well went on three dates with. She’ll just call him another liar. She caught him smoking a cigarette while she was in pool. He said that he liked hanging out at the pool, but there he was in jeans and a T-shirt sitting at a table. Then in his hand a cigarette, that he was trying to hide. Yeah she noticed, but didn’t bring it up cause her friends were there. She just kept quiet, kept her distance so after the date,  that night he messaged, did I do something wrong? She texted, Yep actions speak louder than words and I saw you smoking. He texted, So we’re done talking ? Yep we’re done talking, she texted back. 

 He texted something about another chance & that he hadn’t smoked in 20 years. She texted, stop texting or I’ll block you, we are not going to work out. 

Then she reads what her ex husband texted.  “I’m not in a financial position to go on trip, it’s not fair that you won’t give me a chance. Do you even know where I live or work?.” She text back, “ none of that matters don’t you see that we don’t have the same interest? Nothing more to say.” 

She texted her best friend back, “Good morning. I ended it with the smoking liar by text & then I stupidly texted the ex husband.” She texted , “Oh no and why text the ex husband?” She text, “Well he sent me a message again about giving him another chance and I just gave him an ultimatum, that if he goes on the singles cruise than I would.” 

She text, “oh no, why you do that? You know you got to stop hoping he’s changed? Isn’t he engaged to someone else.” She text, “ I just want him to see that we don’t like to do the same things. He texted a few weeks ago that he is engaged but that she is still married, that he really wants me back. Which is exactly the opposite of a changed person. I can’t even believe that he has the nerve to ask me out! I’m so frustrated with relationships & dating that I stupidly texted him back!” 

She text Beth, “Do you actually want him to show up on the cruise?” 

She returns with this text, “I don’t know anymore, is my life a movie? In the movies the ex shows up & everyone lives happily ever after. I just want a vacation. I’m trying to put myself out there. I doubt I’ll fall in love on a cruise but perhaps make friendships. I’m looking for establishing friendship first. I’m a mess, I’m guarded and not looking for hookups.” 

She text Beth back, “I know you are frustrated and are going through this as best you can in being business-like. I’m sorry about the smoking liar. You got to ignore your ex husband, he’s not truthful and not sure what he’ll do knowing about your trip.” She texts, “I know better than to play into his messages, but then I did, ugh well I’m not gonna stress over it. I’ll just ignore him. Thanks for listening to me & being my best friend.” She text Beth back, “I’m sorry you gotta go through this but I’m here for you, want the best for you and love you.” 

Beth knows she is so blessed to have best friends like this. She delete her ex husband’s new text messages about how he’s changed & deserves a second chance. She deletes the message from the lying smoker too.

 She opens the match app to see if she has any new messages. She has a few so she responds, “Thanks for the likes. however, be sure to read my profile and then let me know if you are still interested in texting to get to know more about each other I’m not looking for a hook up but friendship first.” 

The singles cruise is in 50 days. 

Better as a Memory? Chapter 1

 Better as a Memory?

It’s in a line from a song on the Kenny Chesney album, The Poets & Pirates album. Little did Beth know that it would become her reality. 

Back when she was young & dumb, she fell in love. The hard & fast kind. Something just overtook her, the summer she turned 19. 

This person is better as a memory. They didn’t work. They just don’t, but years after their divorce, he came to her, by text message, begging for another chance. Usually, she ignored these texts, but one night she texted him back.  

She gave him an ultimatum. Did he go for it? 

This is that story. 

Chapter 1

 

Memories, oh how they can haunt you but then they can make you smile. Beth does not regret the memories she has because they have made her who she is. She is a single mom, of a college aged kid, who has survived divorce. She started to put herself out in this dating world. First, by doing things that she has interest in. She took a solo road trip in an RV, that 8 month adventure is another story for another day. She got scuba diving certified, went diving in Ohio’s Lake Erie and thought about skydiving, but then the thought of jumping out of a perfectly good airplane, well that is an adventure she just hasn’t brought to fruition. Now she is trying online dating and oh what an adventure that is. So far, they all tell her what she wants to hear, but their actions don’t match. 

She has gone to several therapists and did a local Divorce Survivor class. She has learned to be business-like. She has chosen to be a person of chastity. What does that mean? Well it looks like this, she is looking for friendship first and dates that include going for a meal, walks, swimming or a similar activity. Her dating profile states; 

 

“I’m a single mom, Educator, Teacher and inspiring changemaker. In 2021, I wintered in Florida; Ohio is my home. Warm weather adventures needed! Applying & thinking about a Doctorate.

I’m confident that with the right person, a long distance, committed relationship can work. I don’t want to pay your way, I’m self employed and pay my own. 

I told God, you’ll have to send a BIG sign, I do not trust easily and I’m probably jaded. I’m for building friendship first. 

My future husband is a Father and/or Uncle, responsible, kind, helpful & understands who I am; plans Weekend fun! I Want to be fun Grandparents some day. 

Prenup is a must! 

Biden Harris 2020 

I don’t always vote under 1 political party. 

I have alopecia so I wear a hat or hair clip in, like Dolly Parton! 

I’m a Writer of stories & songs, lyricist in addition to my blog. 

I’m allergic to Dogs, like them but can’t share a bedroom etc.”

This is what she decided to say. What would you say? Anyways, business like she keeps telling herself and remember you going to meet a lot of people, so be prepared to be nice but stick to the business, friendship plan. This is the only way she can even allow herself to go through this process. 

She messaged those who sned her a like or Hi, she texts, “Any questions? Did you read my profile ?’ Most of the men don’t, she assumes they message her after liking the pictures. This is flattering at first, but it’s not real. She says thanks and ask them to read & review because, remember, she is being business like with friendship first. Some delete her & some ask to meet up. 

Also, she is business like with her ex husband, father of her child. He messages and usually ends up asking her out. Asking for another chance, why or why is he? To her, he’s better as a memory. The past is the past. She was frustrated one weekend after a failed date. Her ex-husband sends her a text. 

 

“Just want to spend time with you and be with you and love each other is that too much to ask to want to be with you no matter what, I have changed.” 

Seriously, she thought. His actions don’t match his words. We don’t even like doing the same things. We share a child together, that’s the only reason I take his texts and don’t block him. He never learned to be business like. Ugh 

As she was drinking a rum & diet, she text him back. 

“Well I joined Match dating site again … they have a singles trip… I’m going … if you have changed & think you are for me then you’d be able to go too… that’s what I’m

looking for… someone who can & would go on trips like this…”

He text back “really, send me info”

She sends a number to the travel agent, “you call & set it up. I’m not helping you.”

“I’m really gonna try to make it” he texted 

 Then he text, so if I can’t go you won’t give me another chance?”

She waits, takes a drink, starting to feel a little tipsy she texts… 

“Yes, that’s right this is an ultimatum… and I’m playing the field, weighing my options & being business like … friendship first… if you want to prove to me you’ve changed & have same interests, then you will go on the trip.”

She laughed out loud to herself and decided to go to bed.